Pirate Eye 2: Chapter I

If you've just tuned in: This is a sequel to my earlier story "Pirate Eye: A Cutthroat Murder Mystery" which can be found among my Facebook notes. You don't need to read it beforehand, but it is bloody good.

PIRATE EYE 2: THE CASE OF THE HEADLESS CAPTAIN!

Chapter I: Lady on Board

I clutched tightly to the gargantuan sea-beast's tentacle, which terminated in a lobster claw, as it writhed wildly in an attempt to throw me off. But I -- John Coughlan, Pirate Investigator -- was having none of it. I thrust my mighty sword into its cursed flesh and leapt to the deck below.

The creature let out a wretched scream as it sank below the waters. I turned to Captain Greybeard, whose service I was currently employed in, and presented him with a small metal box.

"Dammit, Captain!" I said. "Your greed will condemn us all! Put the amulet in the box!"

Greybeard fingered the glowing amulet in his hands with a childlike wonder. His crew looked on, and he knew their loyalty would only last so long before they threw him and his prize to the beast below.

KAPOW! Issue #3

"Han Shoots First"

"I should have known," I told the short, bearded film director before me. "Who else would know the counter-frequency to the Order's mana?"

George Lucas, safe from me and the babes behind a wall of soldier droids, paced smugly. "Yes. I used to be a member, as you're probably aware. Ejecting me was--"

"A smart move?" I said.

"Their biggest error," said Lucas. "But now I will show them, and the world, just how great I am!"

"By wiping out nerd-kind?" I said, genuinely confused. "Your biggest -- hell, your only supporters?"

KAPOW! Issue #2

"All Your Base"

With the babes piloting the X-Jet, we were in London in no time at all, despite my desperate attempts at small-talk.

"So… Either of you girls know Ryan Reynolds?" I asked.

Before they could respond, an alert flashed on the radar screen.

"Incoming," reported Olivia.

"Multiple hostiles, twelve o'clock," added Kristen. "Executing evasive manoeuvres."

KAPOW! Issue #1

"Up, Up and Away!"

I awoke to cold darkness. Instantly assuming, as I always do when I awake into strange circumstances, that the Apocalypse was upon me, I immediately reached for the warm girls either side of me, only to grab at hard ground.

That's when I realised that I had been removed from my gigantic, solid gold bed and placed into parts unknown.

I leapt to my feet, ready to face my kidnapper, and noticed that I had been clothed in a three-piece suit and tie. Then I remembered that this wasn't so odd, since that's how I always sleep.

A blinding light suddenly enveloped me and a booming voice spoke.